


I'm Not Sirius

by psychosaur, stoisical



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Implied Character Death, M/M, Old Married Couple, coffee too, pun not rlly intended, we have hair dye too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:50:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychosaur/pseuds/psychosaur, https://archiveofourown.org/users/stoisical/pseuds/stoisical
Summary: Winter sunlight is a warm old soul, spreading love in the bitter cold.But the winter sunlight is harsh, and Kiyoomi is too jet lagged to deal with the rays of sunshine perfectly shining upon his eyes.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 36
Kudos: 186





	I'm Not Sirius

“Reservation for Miya Kiyoomi,” Kiyoomi said to the receptionist of Svalbard Hotell Polfareren as he tried to deepen his fists in his jacket. As if doing so would make his already gloved hands feel any warmer. 

“Just a moment. ”The receptionist ‘Anita’ as written on her gold name tag smiled and searched up his name on the computer. 

Kiyoomi was the only person in the lobby. His flight landed at 18:38. Earlier than the expected time of arrival. It was already way past the check-in time but the hotel understands. Kiyoomi got the bus shuttle service of the hotel in advance, he didn’t want to deal with getting lost in some arctic country during the night. 

Kiyoomi isn’t keen on death by sudden polar bear attack. 

Especially in a place where death is banned. 

There will be things that will make us pause. But stalling wouldn’t stop the Earth from rotating. It wouldn't stop the Sun from shining. It wouldn’t stop the Moon from pulling the tides. 

Twenty-two billion years feels too far off for the Big Freeze. 

Kiyoomi didn’t pause. Not for too long. 

  
  


Kiyoomi opened his phone. 

It’s 19:15 right now. That means it’s already 2 am in Japan. 

Kiyoomi was never friends with sleep, and attempting to do so in a gravity-defying airtight vehicle is futile. He tried, but he was just fooling himself with closing his eyes. Even with ears stuffed with noise-canceling Sony headphones that Atsumu got him years back, sleep just wouldn’t take him. 

“Sir, your room is in 0710. Enjoy your stay!”

Kiyoomi kept his phone and took the keycard.

“Takk.” He muttered and ignored the huge smile that lingered on Anita’s face. 

Seventy-four years old and his looks can still make people stare a second longer or two. God really had favorites in blessing people with good genes. Atsumu would always say the grey hair just looks so great on Kiyoomi. He took care of his hair well that the grey appeared more silver because of how silky it was. 

In the beginning, it bothered him a lot that he was growing old. He and Atsumu would dye their hair black together when the little greys would show around. Atsumu long abandoned his bleached hair when Kiyoomi told him that "Of course you're more handsome than Osamu." when he still tried to bleach his hair at sixty-five. 

Atsumu never touched a single bleaching product again. 

Kiyoomi thought he should've said it sooner if it had prevented his husband from having bleaching disasters at their age. 

But Miya Atsumu's ego regardless of age is ever-expanding, just like the universe. 

Kiyoomi will give it a pass as long as he doesn't see Atsumu hurting himself. He's a closet sap for his husband and he'll never say it to his face.

Or, he doesn't need to because Atsumu already knows. 

Eventually, the little greys dominated his whole hair. Dyeing his whole hair became a hassle. 

"Ya know, ya don't have 'ta dye it anymore if ya don't want 'ta," Atsumu said as he walked into Kiyoomi staring at the mirror, at the once jet-black curls that are now completely grey. Not even a speck of black as proof of what it was before.

Kiyoomi frowned and his face scrunched. "I'll look old."

Atsumu leans on the doorframe, arms crossed with the same stoic face. "And, so?" More creases appeared on Kiyoomi's forehead with a glare directed at Atsumu's reflection on the mirror.

Atsumu pushed himself from his position, went behind Kiyoomi, and wrapped his arms around the taller's waist. 

"Kiyooomii, grey or black, yer still you. I wouldn't love ya any less. I loved ya in your highlighter days, who said I'd stop loving you in grey?"

Well, that shut Kiyoomi up, but of course, he pinched Atsumu's arm. "You ass, what did my jackets ever do to you."

Atsumu just hugged Kiyoomi tighter and rested his face on the taller's shoulder. "Oh, my omi-omi. Yer gorgeous, but that jacket of yers made ya a gorgeous eyesore."

Kiyoomi was gonna protest when he felt warm lips touch the corner of his cheek and another one on his forehead where his two moles reside. 

"Quit that face scrunching of yers or yer skincare routine might just give up on ya." 

"Atsu-". Atsumu caught Kiyoomi's lips before he could release his complaints. 

Before Kiyoomi could kiss back, Atsumu had already left a quick peck on his lips. 

Warm arms wrapped around Kiyoomi’s neck and gold orbs with flecks of gray staring right at him. 

“Grey or black, blaah! I don’t care. Ya color my world so yer my favorite color.”

“You don’t-“ 

If it isn’t quite obvious, Atsumu likes to shut Kiyoomi up with a kiss. 

“Finish up already. Our dinner will go cold.” Atsumu let’s go of Kiyoomi and heads off to the dining area.

  
  


☆☆☆

  
Winter sunlight is a warm old soul, spreading love in the bitter cold. 

But the winter sunlight is harsh, and Kiyoomi is too jet lagged to deal with the rays of sunshine perfectly shining upon his eyes. 

He buries his face into the comforter. 

Kiyoomi doesn’t understand, nor even want to remember how in gods green earth did he even agree to go to Longyearbyen. 

  
  


After finally figuring out how the shower’s heater works, he goes out for brunch at Kroa. It was just a two minute walk from the Polfareren. 

Kroa had a rustic interior decorated with old driftwood, hunting gear, and other things that bear the mark of having experienced the harsh northern cold. 

Atsumu would love it here, Kiyoomi thought. 

The place was packed with tourists, but Kiyoomi found a free table at the far corner of the restaurant near the windowsill. 

After scanning the menu, Kiyoomi raised his right hand and said, “Unnskyld”.

“I’ll have a ciabatta og Kroa souppe, please. Takk.” 

The restaurant was illuminated by the golden sunlight, as enthusiastic waiters attended to their guests. The atmosphere was lively and spirited, as laughter from the table at Kiyoomi’s right side ensued, and on the other end were three children running around, as their father shoots them a glare to quiet down, and on his left was a family of three, whose baby, sitting on a high chair, is crying and the mother trying to pacify her.  
  
He, too, had a family once. He still does, though. They’re just in some far place. 

Just as he was about to spiral in his thoughts, his order was placed on the table, and he quietly thanked the waiter as he indulged in his brunch.  
  


Kiyoomi quickly finished his food, left a generous tip and went out of the restaurant. Right in front of it was the bus stop they had determined to meet at for the shuttle transportation of the group tour. 

It was an hour past noon, and the sun was still harshly shining despite the cold. Kiyoomi was sitting beside the window as he looked outside the blurry landscapes that they passed by.  
  


Life itself was comparable to it, as a person whose life was initially uneventful, but as a whirlwind in the form of Miya Atsumu has swayed and infiltrated every crevice in his life, ironically, instead of devastating him, brought life, happiness and love to it, beyond all words and in its entirety.

However, all things are like spring dreams, passing with no trace, as whatever our struggles and triumphs, all too soon they bleed into a wash, just like watery ink on paper. 

Kiyoomi and the people of the tour stood outside the seed vault. It is marked by a concrete prow jutting from the mountain. The narrow opening leads to a tunnel that continues deep into the permafrost and to the three underground chambers for storage of the actual seeds. 

The preparedness of European countries can be baffling because they’re prepared for a global climate crisis. As devastation strikes, and these seeds are planted, they will begin to grow when taken care of properly, just as relationships are nourished through the years. Both should be diligently nurtured. 

Similar to how two unlikely people tried to nurture their relationship. 

They explored the vault for another half hour. The guide’s words just entered and left his ears, as Kiyoomi’s thoughts are elsewhere. Before he knew it, they were already being ushered back to the bus. 

The ride back to the bus stop was mundane and quiet. So much so, that Kiyoomi didn’t realize they were in their destination. His stomach grumbled and suddenly remembered a cafe that he had been meaning to try. It was a short walk from the bus stop, and so he went.

As he entered the cafe, his senses were overwhelmed by the strong smell of ground coffee and faint tinge of pastries. He proceeded to the counter and saw the brown pastry coated with white glaze and chocolate drizzles with raspberry on top. 

Kiyoomi wasn’t really the one for trying new desserts but this one seems promising. A certain someone would’ve immediately gotten it without a second thought. 

“That’s our best seller. Would you like it with some kaffe? They’re a good pair”

Kiyoomi’s thoughts were interrupted by the cashier’s voice. 

Once he settled in his seat after making sure it’s clean, he gently lifted his cup and got a whiff of its scent. The coffee smelled different, Atsumu’s coffee has a more calming smell. It smelled like home, and right now he’s homesick. 

Kiyoomi took a sip. It's of high quality beans, it's fresh, but its lack of familiarity sent him in a frigid and numbing state, compared to the one he was used to. One that's warm and made with love. 

☆☆☆

A few days have passed, nothing much has occurred, except Kiyoomi spent them in the hotel, reading books and maximizing the facilities and services they have. Sauna, massages and the wide selection of food kept him company and brought relaxation. 

After staying inside for so long, he had planned to finally go back to exploring outside, and asked the hotel staff for what would be a suitable restaurant with a good view of the aurora borealis. There was a satisfied and ecstatic glint in their eyes as they directed him to Mary Ann Polarrigg. 

The sun was still visible. 

Marry-Ann’s Polarrigg restaurant has a wide long area with high clear glass ceilings that gives you a good view of the northern stars or midnight sun if you’re lucky. Many items in it from the old coal mines in the area including the red miners bus which stands outside the bar area and serves as a smoking shelter complete with fairy lights. Exotic plants were also scattered everywhere. It surprised Kiyoomi that they survived the frigid cold. 

Kiyoomi didn’t realize it was already dark. 

He was welcomed inside the restaurant by an attendant and was greeted with their distinct salutation. The waiter seemed so sure of himself, as he lead the way and treaded to a narrow hallway. Confused, Kiyoomi looked at him with a questioning glance. He smiled at him, reassuring, as they stopped in front of a private area of the restaurant. 

The lights were out, and the section was merely embellished with light from the stars. Suddenly, the place was ensued by an intimate, soothing and dream-like rhythm. Its melody was all too familiar. Kiyoomi was thick-as thieves with Liszt’s Liebestraum No.3 -- it was an old friend. The piece’s crescendo conducted the intense, gradual increase in sound and thrumming in Kiyoomi’s heart. It slowly climbs up to its climax.

Louder. Louder. Louder.

Then suddenly, it mellows down.

And its decrescendo envelopes Kiyoomi into a trance. It was rather phantasmic and ethereal. Nostalgia washed his mind, and suddenly he’s 25, and in front of him was a star. Kiyoomi studied that there are more than 200 million stars in the Milky Way, but this one right in front of him was still brighter than all of them combined. 

_I find pieces of you in every song I listen to. With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything._

_Whether it is good or bad, I’m not so certain anymore, but I’m feeling the latter._

Kiyoomi is suddenly back in their apartment in Osaka. Afternoon streaks of the sun's rays penetrate into their soundproof music room. Atsumu has his Stradivarius cello in between his thighs and Kiyoomi is in front of his Steinway & Sons _professional upright._ The low echoes of Atsumu’s cello blending so well with Kiyoomi’s gentle but concise accompaniment. Professional Olympic volleyball players they are to the world, but in the comforts of their little abode and each other, their fingers are well acquainted with strings and not just volleyballs. 

Stars, as they are, are already blazing with luminosity. In this regard, binary stars shine even brighter.

These twin stars are bound by gravity as they seemingly dance around each other. They appear to be a single point of light to the naked eye, as they coordinate within a similar system. They complement each other, setting ablaze an even more incandescent glow. 

That is how cello is to the piano. Brilliant as they are, however producing an even more artful and melodic masterpiece once together.

That is how Atsumu is to Sakusa. Beaming as they are, however nourishing an even more artful and melodic masterpiece that is life. 

Liszt’s music and the stars stealing Kiyoomi’s attention, he failed to notice the group of people gathered in the private area. Only their silhouettes can be seen, but they’re there. 

Before Kiyoomi’s eyes could adjust to the shadows moving around, light that was not from the sky, flashed harshly. 

“HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!”

_Oh._

Right. 

He hastily took out his phone and checked the date.

28th of March.

_Yeah, right._

The whole national team and their partners and his brother-in-law is here.

What.

What are they doing in the autonomous region of Norway

Why is my brother in law here.

He forced me to go here.

What. 

What?

Still stuck in his spot, Kiyoomi didn’t notice warm arms around his neck. 

“Happy anniversary to you and my dumb fuck brother.”

“Guys, c’mon gather round and let’s all take a photo before we dig in the food!” Rintarou exclaimed as he held up his phone.

“Miya-san #4, what happened to ‘we don’t need things like memories’?” Hinata questioned.

Bokuto guffawed, and put Hinata in a headlock. Everyone around them, amused, convulsed with laughter as Hinata tried to get out of Bokuto’s still muscular arms. 

Keiji fondly smiled at Kotarou, as Oikawa walked up beside Keiji and nudged him, "Bet Iwa-chan can beat Kou in arm wrestling." And both of them snickered as it has been a back and forth playful banter of whose muscular husband will win the silly bet. They'll have to wait and see. 

Even Kiyoomi, whose only moods for god knows how long, has been neutral, pained or reminiscent, was now joining in the clamour and hullabaloo of the group.

Rintarou kept capturing photos, immortalizing precious memories that were to be immensely cherished. He took a mental note of adding these to the ‘MSBY Memes’ folder. 

Surely, they don’t need things like memories, but what if they’re all that Kiyoomi’s left with?

We didn’t realize we were making memories. We just knew we were having fun.

After the entire fuss, they settled down and enjoyed the hearty and lavish meal. Before all this, Kiyoomi had no idea that Osamu pushed through with his brother’s wishes, and even conspired with the hotel staff Kiyoomi had stayed at, to lead him to Mary Ann’s Polarrigg.

Quiet conversations, familiar faces and comfortable atmosphere, Kiyoomi wouldn’t have spent it any other way.

After some trivial exchanges and random chitchats of snippets of their lives and how they’ve been, Osamu ushered Sakusa outside of the restaurant. They were immediately entwined with the harsh, cold wind of the Norweigan wind. 

Words weren’t necessary as of now. The frigid wind and landscape was enough to coexist with them under the vast sky.

Up there was a natural light display, a myriad of colors that couldn’t be described with human beings’ vernacular. Its beauty transcended all terrestrial beings, as it was something celestial, exquisite and delicate. They danced in the sky like prismatic ballerinas, purples coalescing with pinks, as greens coalesce with yellows, and blues with whites. A mirror, and a vividly spectacular display of nature’s mesmerizing wonder.

Wonder. Kiyoomi wonders how all this came to be. As if reading his thoughts, Osamu quietly explained. He, for one, most definitely didn’t regret it. All of this is part of Atsumu’s shenanigans. He made the stars align. Literally. 

“Osamu, you planned it all.” 

“Sakusa, you know well that my brother loved ya, right?  
  
“He never faltered.”  
  
“‘Course he won’t. Ma didn’t raise us ta be quitters. Most especially with those we love.”  
  


“Hm. I figured. Rin…”

“Yeah, Rin. Light of my life, brightest sun in my sky, whose absence of light is tantamount to my whole life dyin’ an’ all that.” 

“Didn’t take you to be as sappy as your brother. Thought you’d be much more subdued.”

“Well, it’s Rin. It’s always intense with my Rin. Always a hundred, always pushin’ each other to one’s limits whether good or bad. But it’s comfortable ya know? It’s just how we are. Sometimes too much, but never too little.”

“Mm. I know it too well.”

“‘Course ya do.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“Always will. He’s my literal other half, after all… I mean, before ya came along and claimed him of course.”

“For sure. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I mean, when I involve myself with something or someone, it’s those that I’ve fully entrusted myself with. Ones I can see myself with until the end. And Atsumu… he’s someone I’ve longed for to be intertwined with, for the rest of my life and more. Maybe even a couple more lifetimes. This one’s never fucking enough. It sucks, Samu. It does. It hurts so goddamn much. I’m probably not the most religious asshole over here but I try to hold on to the concept of afterlife. That we’ll meet again. Because I still want to be with him. Always. And in all ways that the world permits us.”

“Ya better. ‘Cause my brother won’t ever forget ya. That bastard’s unconditionally, stubbornly in love with ya.”  
  
Kiyoomi smiled bitterly, his heart was weeping, and his vision was blurring. It was cold. In all its implications.

“I know, Samu. I know.”

“So much so, he’d planned this all even before he...yeah. And ya guys prolly had a conversation about stars or some shit ‘cause he’s got a final thing fer ya.”

And the whole world turns away; still the moon is seen.

Kiyoomi mindlessly walked towards that viewing platform of the restaurant and looked at what Osamu gave him. 

The night is as dark as the abyss of no tomorrows, but the star painted sky contrasts it with a splatter and collision of pink, green, yellow, blue, and violet streaks. 

Kiyoomi is alone. 

And not. 

The cold made him feel the metal ring fitting perfectly on his right ring finger under his leather gloves. (And no, it's not made out of their gold olympic medal.) 

He looks up for a moment to stare and take in mother nature’s painting in the sky. 

It’s absolutely breathtaking. He sighed and a puff of fog left his lips.

In his hands is a blue galaxy themed envelope with embossed gold stars. It took Kiyoomi a few seconds to figure out what it is but he never thought Atsumu would be _serious_ about it. 

Atsumu just joked about this years ago. Years. He still had his bleached hair that time. Of course Kiyoomi shut him up with his astrophysics degree. 

_“Are you serious?“_

_“No, I'm Not Sirius. Why’d ya want them Omi-omi when I’m already yer star?”_

_“ I literally studied astrophysics, Atsumu… you think with that one joke you can one up me with my entire college degree? “_

_“C’mon Omi-omiiiii. Isn’t having a star named after the person you love just so sweet? Plus, the website said it's the best gift you can give anyone!”_

_“Miya, please don’t be a victim of capitalist schemes. It’s not even associated with NASA.”_

_“Omi-ku-“_

_And what Atsumu had to say never got the chance to travel through air when his mouth is shut and bitten by the person whose name he’s supposed to whine about._

☆☆☆

Kiyoomi looked up at the sky searching for comfort from warm arms that won’t ever come. 

Well not right now.

Life was so different this time last year.

Life was wild and alive—defying the gods expectations.

But right now? Life isn’t with Kiyoomi anymore.

His hands holding the paper unconsciously crumpled the papers as he felt his eyes sting.

From the cold, from the dry air, or the feelings he just didn’t want to feel.

It’s a secret whose truth is known only to Kiyoomi, Atsumu, and the northern lights.

…

  
  


_September 21, 2067_

_Osaka City University Hospital_ _  
  
_

_“I’ll see you on the other side of the stars, my Kiyoomi.”_

  
  


… 

They say home is where the heart is.

_Mine is among the stars, across the universe._

The sky is tragically beautiful. 

A graveyard of stars. 

“I miss you beyond the stars Atsumu. Happy 50th anniversary, my golden star.” 

☆☆☆

  
  


Star Certificate

This certifies that the star having the coordinates RA 6h 45m 9s | Dec -16° 42′ 58″ is hereby designated 

Miya Kiyoomi and Miya Atsumu

In honor of their 50th Golden Anniversary

Registration date:

March 28,2068

My only Omi, 

I’m sorry  
I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to miss you anymore.

Let’s see each other again intertwined in our next lives and hopefully more

Love,

Your only idiot

**Author's Note:**

> See you on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/rice__kita?s=21)! Feel free to DM for tissues.


End file.
